Music Potpourri

With a blog name like Random Ramblings, it is highly appropriate for me to just throw out some completely unrelated musical thoughts that have been floating around my brain lately. So without further ado…

I like all of Coldplay’s albums.  But after listening to songs off “Parachutes” for the first time in a while, I’m thinking it might be good for Chris Martin to be a little bummed out again.  Anyone with me? Maybe Apple can be a little terror. But somehow I don’t think parental issues will conjure up a song as haunting as the lovelorn blues of “Sparks” or “Trouble”.  Just wishing you a teeny tiny bit of sadness, Chris. Not too much, though.

I really like the new Them Crooked Vultures album.  Really good, hard, intelligent, original stuff.  But I think I will always like music that I connect to emotionally more than stuff that I think just rocks.  Each one has its own place/time, but as far as favorites go, the artist that wear their hearts on their sleeves still make the most lasting impression on me.

Somewhere, somehow, is Zack De La Rocha still mad about something?

Anyone else remember listening to Rick Dees’ Top 40 radio show in the late 80’s, and how he would end each show with the song “Two Occasions” by The Deele (featuring Babyface)? If not, it’s the song that goes “I only think of you on two occasions, that’s day and night”.

Baby Business

So, as all 6 of my devoted readers know,  my wife and I are going to have a baby in March. Actually, only she is having the baby.  This simple fact is perhaps the main reason that I am glad to belong to the male gender.  The other is that it is not a pre-requisite that I love the original 90210, or that I still hold a special place in my heart for Jordan Knight.  She is 6 months pregnant, so I have had plenty of time to be exposed to the craziness that is the expectant parents market. This market has been there all along, but understandably so, it was not on my radar until this past June, when we found out the news.  Now I am being exposed to the wonderful world of onesies and medieval pumps.

So the baby my wife is incubating is one of the female variety.  So my world is about to get a lot pinker.  It’s no wonder many girls hate pink when they are older: it’s because their world must be absolutely saturated with it when they are young.  Pink outfits? check. Pink nursery? check. Pink toys? check. Spraypainted pink baby? check.  Then they grow to hate the color, a feeling that wears off right about the time they are ready to have a child of their own. Then the vicious cycle starts again.

As I passed by the diaper section of the local Target, I started thinking about why you can’t have more options with your children.  When you buy a car, you get to decide the color, the additional features you are willing to spring for, and what you can live without. Now, I’m not suggesting we should manipulate nature in such a way that we can determine hair color, IQ, or taste in music. Well, maybe that last one would be pretty cool.  But you get my point. However, one idea that I stole from the lottery seems ingenious to me. When you win the lottery, you get the option of getting checks for the rest of your life, or getting paid in a lump sum, which of course is lower than you would get originally, cause of taxes.  When it comes to the diaper business, seems like you are locked into getting “payments” for the duration of your child’s diaper life.  See where I am going with this? Yeah, so did my wife. She said I was disgusting.  What some people call disgusting, others (ie-me) call brilliant. Sure, I’d have to figure out a location for the “lump sum”, but wouldn’t you rather deal with that all at once and get it over with? I rest my case.

Wolverines, Dancing

 

I’m not afraid to admit it: I like the movie “Dirty Dancing”.  Always have, since the first time I saw it. Didn’t see it in the theater, but did see it on the old glorious VCR eventually.  In fact, my family bought our copy from Kroger, who must have swindled us: the sound was all muffled, like it was a copy of a copy (can’t you give me a decent copy, For Goodness Sake?)  Now many would claim this to be the ultimate chick flick.  Perhaps they are right.  But that doesn’t nullify all the good points that my world weary, sentimental pre-teen eyes enjoyed. First, it has great music. Yes, I know the soundtrack featured “She’s like the Wind”, but we here at Random Ramblings have a standing rule not to slander songs by recently deceased actors, no matter how mediocre the song may be (Rest in Peace, Bodhi).

Second, it’s set in the past, so it has the whole nostalgia factor.  Third, the central theme is breaking away from authority figures, so there’s the whole independent, coming of age vibe, which was/is right up my alley (I know, you are shocked, hearing that from a professed Wonder Years fan).  And finally, at least ¾’s of the entire world’s population has at some point uttered those famous words: “No one puts Baby in the corner”.  Even if there was no actual baby or corner in the vicinity.

However, for all it’s greatness, there is always once scene that has stuck out like a sore thumb to me.  And after recently watching the end of the movie again, I had to break out of my silence, and voice my concerns to all 3 of you that may read this column.  At the end of the movie, after Johnny has already left, there is the end of the summer recital.  They are singing that dreadful Kellerman’s song with the chorus “Join hands and hearts and voices, voices hearts and hands”.  Baby’s sister is for some inexplicable reason letting anyone other than herself and God hear her atrocious singing voice.  And yes, Baby is in the aforementioned corner.

Beatles Supremacy

Watch the goliath eat a small exiled snack

First, let me apologize for the long delay. My hobby (teaching/coaching) has taken away from my day job (blogging).  Can’t say it won’t happen again, but hopefully the break will not be a month plus next time.

The Beatles are big again. Not that they ever really went away. But with the whole catalog being remastered, and Beatles: Rock Band being released, they are back in the news.  You know who hates this more than anyone else: The Rolling Stones.  Yes, the eternal debate is always Beatles vs. Stones, with the Beatles seemingly more universally regarded as the most popular/influential/best band in the history of music.  There are those sad, mistaken souls who somehow think the Rolling Stones were more influential, and more popular. And true, the fact that they have been able to continue to put out albums and tour does skew the perception a bit (some would say it dampens their legacy, but that is another debate).  But how can you argue against all that the Fab Four squeezed into the years 1962-1970?

The Beatles juggernaut continues to march on. In the words of Yogurt from Spaceballs, “Merchandizing, merchandizing, merchandizing!”. Now, I don’t think we will be seeing Beatles toilet paper or flamethrowers anytime soon (although I do plan on start an online petition when I finish writing this). But since they are now branching out into video games, it is opening them up to a brand new audience.  The Stones, on the other hand, are left to pick up the scraps, grasping for whatever they can grab.  Perhaps they are in talks with Leapfrog to come out with a Rolling Stones themed game for small children (Hey kids! Count the pills in Keith’s hand!).

Movie Ephemera

Having the summers off lends itself to some quality time with various cinematic gems.  So I’ve had myself on a steady diet of knocking out those movies that I’ve never gotten around to watching. When seemingly unrelated bits of cinema info clatter around in my brain, there is no choice but to collect them all into a tasty dish movie casserole. So dig in, but be warned: our health rating is not posted.

While listening to the B.S. report podcast 2 weeks ago, I heard Bill Simmons’  astute observation that Tim Lincecum, a pitcher for the San Francisco Giants, looks a lot like Mitch Kramer (played by Wiley Wiggins) in the classic movie “Dazed and Confused”.  I believe this is grounds to go ahead and give him the Cy Young right now.

I recently watched “North Shore” for the first time.  Having been to Hawaii this summer, the thought was that viewing this movie would be fun, since I’ve been to the North Shore. What I did not expect was a lecture series disguised as a movie.  Most action movie feature dialogue only has little as possible in order to get back to things being blown up, killed, or jumped off of. This movie kept coming back to informing the viewer about all things surfing and Hawaii. Don’t know about how a surf board is cut? Let me show you. Want to know how the ancient Hawaiians viewed the ocean? How about the customs of the locals? how to become one with the ocean? This movie has to be Bodhi’s favorite.

Watched “Misery” again.  Yep, Annie Wilkes is still maybe the craziest character in the last 20 years.  If I was a popular author and anyone claimed to be my #1 fan, I would immediately get a restraining order, reinforce my house with steel, and roll around in a bulletproof bubble for the rest of my life. A little extreme, but also effective.

I had never seen “A Few Good Men” until the last week. Must say I was underwhelmed.  Tom Cruise’s performance was dialed in straight from the “hey, look at me, I’m acting!” school of drama.  And there had to be a sitcom writer helping out. That scene where Demi Moore comes back to the door and Cruise thinks she is going to say she is falling for him, but she just tells him to wear matching socks? That would not have been out of place on “Alf” or any other cheesy sitcom from the 80’s or 90’s.  But the confrontation between Cruise and Nicholson made the whole movie worth it. Jack plays an exceptional pompous jerk, and Cruise saves the day. 

And last but not least: caught the last 30 minutes of “Wayne’s World” tonight. Definitely takes the prize of “Best SNL Skit Movie” (it was tough, going up against ”It’s Pat!” and “Stuart Smalley Saves His Family”).  and I’m at a loss as to why Alice Cooper did not get an Oscar nod. Can they create an Academy Award category for best cameo?

Point Break Live

First, there must be full disclosure. For all these years (1) now, you have been led to believe that Random Ramblings is a fully staffed internet endeavor, with multiple revenue streams going towards travel, clients, interpretive dance classes, billboard promotion, etc.  However, we (I) cannot live the lie anymore. There is only one member/CEO/Editor in Chief of Random Ramblings.  If there is ever a “we” where an “I” should be in the future, it is just self-denial creeping in. Feel free to virtually slap me in the face.  I just felt like your reading experience would be heightened by the new sense of honesty that you would feel by hearing this admission (in the great words of Marky Mark, “Feel it, feel it“). If you find yourself feeling extremely disillusioned and wanting a refund, feel free to seek out that money by whatever means necessary (extreme force, if warranted).  We will release our office location later (ie-never).

Today I viewed the cinematic goodness that is “Point Break“.  This gem from 1991 has everything you could ask for in a movie.  Keanu Reeves, surfing, Keanu Reeves using surf speak (insert obvious “how is that different from any other movie” joke here), Patrick Swayze, and no embarrassing Patrick Swayze songs on the soundtrack. Speaking of the soundtrack, there is an excellent song by Wire Train called “I Will Not Fall” that is prominently featured during a scene where Keanu Reeves’ character, Johnny Utah, is indeed trying not to fall off his surfboard. Kudos to the screenwriter for that tidbit of cleverness!)

Ok, so the movie is a bit over the top. But I still love it.  I saw it in the theater multiple times and it still holds up for that part of me that likes brainless action movies. And truth be told, it isn’t as brainless as most of Michael Bay/Jerry Bruckheimer’s swill. But is hard not to smirk when Bodhi, played subtly by Swayze, tells Utah that the secret to catching a wave is to “harness it’s energy and react to it”. or when Utah and his partner, Pappas (Busey) engage in various high fives and comraderie building yelling.

Indecent Response Unit

 

While driving down the highway one day this summer, I noticed an ambulance with the words “Indecent Response Unit” printed on the side.  I looked away, then quickly glanced back to realize that I had misread it, and that it actually said “Incident Response Unit”.  I must admit, I was dismayed. Sure, an Incident Response Unit is all the things you might guess: appropriate, helpful, beneficial, etc.  But wouldn’t life be more interesting with an Indecent Response Unit? Allow me to explain. 

You are rushing to the grocery store to buy some much needed supplies (ie: nachos) for an important meeting (ie: watching “Escape to Chimp Eden”).  You get said supplies, hurry to your car, and discover to your horror that you have locked your keys in your car.  An observant passerby notices this, and astutely calls the Indecent Response Unit. They quickly dispatch someone to assist you in your dilemma. 

You pace back and forth, counting down the minutes until you will miss how Joel is about to get his fingers eaten by a primate, when suddenly, the I.R.U. arrives.  They get out of their vehicle, ask you to explain the situation, and then proceed to berate you mercilessly for your stupidity.  They may or  may not spit on your shoes or kick dust in your general direction (depends on the experience of the I.R.T. (Indecent Response Technician).  But before they leave, you can rest assured that they will have behaved in an entirely inappropriate and degrading way.  Their job has been completed thoroughly and effectively. 

Oxygen Logic (or lack thereof)

I know James Harrison’s latest comments make an easy target. But I just can’t help myself.  In case you did not hear, the Pittsburgh Steelers Star had this to say about Obama inviting his team to the White House: “This is how I feel-if you want to see the Pittsburgh Steelers, invite us when we don’t win the Super Bowl. As far as I’m concerned, he would’ve invited Arizona if they’d won”.  

Mr. Harrison’s brilliance shines down upon the rest of us mere mortals.  It got me thinking: what else fits under the “as far as James Harrison is concerned” category. So without further ado:

As far as James Harrison is concerned:

if Obama had not won the election, McCain would’ve

if lunch were eaten later in the day, it would be called dinner

if you wore shoes on your hands instead of your feet, they’d be called gloves

if you wore gloves on your feet instead of your hands, they’d be called shoes

If you had feet where your hands are, they’d be called hands

Mr. Nostalgia

E

Viva Explosia!!

Recently, our Editor in Chief, “Mr. Rambling” to you (“me” to me), was dubbed “Mr. Nostalgic” by one our readers (at least we think she is a reader). Ok, one of our friends (at least we think she is a friend).  As we have commented on before, a plethora of our writing here tends to be focused on things from the past (and by past, we mean “80’s/90’s”). 

            Now, keep in mind that for some of the population, anything that is even remotely nostalgic must be wiped out, smote, and buried alive with a video camera inside the coffin, so the last panicked breaths can be witnessed (it’s been 4 years since I’ve seen an episode of CSI but it is clearly still with me). However, we don’t think nostalgia should be something that is feared.  It should be embraced, like a kitten you stole from your next door neighbor. But why are people afraid of/incapable of reminiscing? Some easy explanations:

A.  Their mind has been erased by a device similiar to what they use in Men in Black, whenever humans interact with aliens. 

B.  Their present is way better than their past

C.  Their future is way better than their past or present (but they won’t divulge their methods of knowing this)

D. They are not an elephant. 

Bad Advice

As I, Editor in Chief of Random Ramblings, was recently waiting for my public transit vessel to whisk me away into the city, I had two thoughts: 1. I wonder if it will smell of urine as it always does, and 2. Why is there a huge banner of Magic Johnson giving me advice? Turns out Earvin is partnered up with Aetna to form some sort of health information initiative. And the tidbit that was splayed across this banner? “Don’t be afraid to ask the doctor questions: no one ever died of embarrassment”. Well, Mr. Magic, I set out to prove you wrong. An extensive, special, and intense Random Ramblings exclusive investigation did not uncover any evidence of people dying from embarrassment, but one of our reliable “inside” sources (yahoo answers) did say that it is possible, if the person was so emabarassed that they had a heart attack. One person that replied asked the person who posted the question if they were planning on murdering someone by embarrassing them.  The reply was “not yet”.  I have contacted the appropriate authorities. 

So while there is no evidence to support my stance, I am sure that Magic Johnson is wrong. After considering how I had been lied to, yet again, by a living Basketball legend, I thought of all the other trite, cliched quotes I’ve heard in my lifetime that when examined, don’t quite hold up as true. Observe: 

The man who wins may have been counted out several times, but he didn’t hear the referee-H.E. Jansen

   While this may seem to be celebrating tenacity and the indomitable human spirit, it is actually endorsing ignoring the rules of the game you are playing.  I can testify that this does not work. When some people claim that they are playing hopscotch, but you decide that you are actually playing Randy “Macho Man Savage” vs. Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat at Wrestlemania 3, then things get a little touchy. Geez, people. Can’t you be more flexible? Sports are meant to be fun. 

A small gift is better than a great promise-German Proverb

    This quote could be true, unless the great promise was a bigger gift than what you got. Then anything goes.