Oxygen Logic (or lack thereof)
I know James Harrison’s latest comments make an easy target. But I just can’t help myself. In case you did not hear, the Pittsburgh Steelers Star had this to say about Obama inviting his team to the White House: “This is how I feel-if you want to see the Pittsburgh Steelers, invite us when we don’t win the Super Bowl. As far as I’m concerned, he would’ve invited Arizona if they’d won”.
Mr. Harrison’s brilliance shines down upon the rest of us mere mortals. It got me thinking: what else fits under the “as far as James Harrison is concerned” category. So without further ado:
As far as James Harrison is concerned:
if Obama had not won the election, McCain would’ve
if lunch were eaten later in the day, it would be called dinner
if you wore shoes on your hands instead of your feet, they’d be called gloves
if you wore gloves on your feet instead of your hands, they’d be called shoes
If you had feet where your hands are, they’d be called hands
I do, however, like his idea that sports teams should just be invited to the White House for no good reason at all. If I had been President in 1987 (assuming the American Public would have looked past the fact that I was in 4th grade), I would have had the 49ers over all the time. Maybe even had them forfeit a game or two so they could hang out with me. I’m also willing to bet that Mr. Harrison would like it if every team got the championship trophy at the beginning of the season, then the winner of the Super Bowl gets ANOTHER one. Because as far as he’s concerned, they would not have given them the trophy if they had lost.
A spokesperson for Harrison said that his stance is completely unpolitical. He just “doesn’t want to go”. This is similar to how my extreme hatred of math has nothing to do with it as a subject. I just despise numbers. Ok, in all seriousness, perhaps he feels slighted somehow. Like the President only gives you some love if you have won something recently. How about if he invited the last place team to the White House? How about having a D+ students luncheon sometime, to celebrate underachievers everywhere? The A+ students could give a statement via satellite, thanking the D+ students for making them look so good. We could get close up reaction shots as the D+ students shrug their shoulders whenever they are spoken to.
But I digress. I just wish James Harrison wasn’t blatantly discriminating against Obama because of his race. C’mon, James. Grow up.
In a completely unrelated topic, does anyone have any stats handy for what type of damage a 100 yard interception return does to your brain?
