Chad Johnson: Visionary

Since Michael Jackson proclaimed himself the King of Pop, us here at Random Ramblings proclaim ourselves the Kings of Pop Culture. We knew there had to be some good that would come out of all those years of reading Rolling Stone and Spin (countless Trivia victories, for example).  This love for useless knowledge has branched out now to listening to various podcasts, and it was in this way that we heard any interesting claim.  Chad Johnson, wide receiver for the Cincinnati Bengals, was being interviewed on Pardon the Interruption.  And he claimed that he knew inner city guys back home in Liberty City, FL that could destroy Michael Phelps, he of the 1,876 Gold Medals in Beijing.

Now, on first listen, we rejected this theory outright, since NFL wide receivers seem to feel like they are up there with God, Superman, and Billy Corgan (ok, ok, Superman is a little out of place in that list. Give us a break).  But we realized we have wondered the same thing: what if something amazing happened and we only had eyewitnesses and their word? It could be possible, although in the age of Youtube not very.  On quite a few trips to the beach with our good friend The National Evil, we have asked him the same question: what if a giant hand came out of the water, then immediately went back down? We would see it, and we both would know we had not imagined it, but no one else would believe us (but deep down we would not care, because that would be awesome).

Chad Johnson has a point that inner city youth might not be able to showcase their talents in the Olympics. But by that same logic, maybe affluent athletes do not have a chance to flourish in city games.  For every child in the ghetto that might be amazing at tennis, there might be a country club kid who would set the world on fire in stickball. I guess we’ll never know, unless stickball becomes an Olympic Sport (which it should, along with Ultimate Frisbee, Connect Four, and Contra).  

This makes us question everything. What if all the greats throughout history who are recognized as the firsts at what they did were really 5th or 6th? What if the Wright Brothers, Albert Einstein, Roger Bannister, and Neil Armstrong merely got the publicity for their accomplishments, but were not really first? What if neither the chicken nor the egg were first?  

Keep your eyes open.  Nothing is as it seems.  Chad Johnson has just woken us up Matrix style, and made us realize that we are zombies, believing the “facts” we have been force fed our entire lives. Thank you, Ocho Cinco. Thank you.