The 5: Worst Songs of the 90’s

Welcome to  yet another new feature here at Random Ramblings, The 5.  This feature will focus on 5 various things, ranking them in no particular order.  For this first installment, we will focus on the 5 worst songs of the 90’s.  There were many worthy candidates, but only a truly horrible and pain inducing song could walk on the hollowed ground of this list. Behold, the selections:

1.  Where Have All the Cowboys Gone?-Paula Cole

       This list is solely based on the music, voices, and lyrics, but it is hard to erase the various shots of Paula Cole’s unshaven armpits that were shown when this song was a hit.  Why is this song on this list? Because the way she says “beer” in the last verse makes me want to dig out my eardrums with a phillips head.

2.  You Gotta Be-Desiree

This song is designed to be inspirational. That’s right, kids.  Be all the things mentioned in this song, so that you too can be a one hit wonder when you grown up.

3.  Breakfast at Tiffany’s-Deep Blue Something

    The chorus of this song always bothered me, for it’s seemingly pointless conversation. “and I said what about Breakfast at Tiffany’s, she said I think I remember the film, and as I recall I think we both kind of liked it, and I said well that’s one thing we’ve got”. Hmm. This conversation seems kind of boring. Can you come back and sing us a song when you guys are really fighting? Maybe it will more interesting then. And rhyme.

4.  Informer-Snow

   I know this is quite the easy target. And I tried to resist. I really did.  But much like Lone Star was sucked into Spaceball 1’s tractor beam, I was pulled in by the line “I licky boom boom down”.  I don’t understand what Snow is going on about in the song. Something about a murder, he’s from another planet, licky boom boom down. I need a translator. I don’t speak suck.

5.  One Week-Barenaked Ladies

    A very gimmicky song.  A lightweight version of 311 (which I did listen to back in the day, but itself was a lightweight version of the whole rock/rap thing).  I know it is delivered with a wink and a smile (not to be confused with Mr Roth’s Eat em and Smile), but I can only take so much white guy rapping over an acoustic guitar before I’m reaching for the radio dial.