Spoilers

In this day and age of mass media, it is easy to look up anything and everything online.  One phenomenon that has emerged is the spoiler.  Don’t know what a spoiler is? Allow Random Ramblings to educate you. A spoiler is information about a book/movie/tv show/video game/etc that reveals information that will be made public when said artform is released for public consumption.  In other words, it is the giving away of what is going to happen.  This is of course not a new thing-it’s just that in the era of the internet, it has shifted forms, much like Dark Helmet when he tricks Princess Vespa by appearing as her father King Roland in the Best Picture Winner* “Spaceballs”

    Spilling secrets is of course not a new thing. Just think about the biggest spoiler of all time-the nonexistence of Santa Clause.  I’m sure there is a phobia that deals with the fear of keeping a secret, but I did not find it on www.phobialist.com.  But while I was there, I did find some rather amusing/disturbing fears: Auluphobia (the fear of flutes), Russophobia (the fear of Russians, which inspired the excellent movie “Red Dawn”), Deipnophobia (fear of dining or dinner conversations) and Bolshephobia (fear of Bolsheviks). So if you were unfortunate enough to have all four of these conditions, one of the worst things you could do is attend a flute recital where they are playing the soundtrack to Rocky IV, and afterwards there is a dinner party where someone reminisces about the WWF tagteam The Bolsheviks.  Unlikely? You’d be surprised. The above describes about 12 Saturdays a year for me. 

But we’re focused on spoilers today, and why people are so fixated on them. It is hard to remember just how much things were different before the internet.  I remember in the late 80’s/early to mid 90’s the second set of Star Wars were whispered about, but only if you were in certain circles (generally the “guys” circles, and not the “hey, want to go on a date with me?” circles).  Now, you are lucky if you can make it through a season of your favorite show without finding out who dies/lives/moves/drowns.  Can you imagine seeing “The Empire Strikes Back” for the first time and having no clue that *SPOILER ALERT*- Darth Vader was Luke’s father?  Even worse, can you imagine having to wait the 3 years until Return of the Jedi? Good thing I was only 3 when Empire came out-if I had been 10 or more years older, I would have gone insane, and been found wandering outside with my whistling lightsaber muttering/screaming “No, that’s not possible!”.  

I avoid spoilers at all costs. And still there is that little part of me that wants to know certain details.  I guess it is just human nature.  And maybe there is a phobia out there of the fear of keeping a secret.  Perhaps there are clandestine groups out there whose sole purpose is to spoil things for diehard fans of certain forms of entertainment. Groups who went to midnight book sales of Harry Potter and screamed out plot details as children lay on the ground weeping, with their hands over their ears, wishing they had not heard (but knowing they did).  In case there are, I should say that I am definitely not a fan of Lost or The Wire, but instead am impatiently awaiting the season finale of Deal or No Deal**, and the next installment of the book series Animorphs.  Please don’t tell me what is going to happen!

 

*in my head

**If NBC donated a grain of rice to 3rd world countries each time Howie Mandel says the word “deal”  each week, world hunger would end after 2 episodes.